What You Call Home, Others Call Hell

For many, home is a safe haven. It is the place one can use as refuge when the world outside becomes insufferable. However, for others, home is anything but a sanctuary. Domestic abuse or domestic violence (DV) is a human rights violation and is often considered a global public health crisis. Understanding its definition can help victims realize that what they are experiencing is indeed domestic abuse. In addition, it can help outsiders take a more effective action against it. Since domestic abuse against women has been “an age-old phenomenon” as quoted by Kaur and Garg in their article “Addressing Domestic Violence Against Women: An Unfinished Agenda”, there has been a number of modifications to its definition. The United Nations (UN) defines domestic abuse as “a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.” Domestic abuse is not restricted to physical violence as widely misconstrued. It can be emotional, psychological, sexual, verbal, or any intimidating or threatening action. Domestic violence victims are not limited to a specific type of women; in fact, it can happen to anyone regardless of gender, age, or any other factor. But despite that, it is estimated that the number of female victims is significantly higher than any other DV victims. According to UN Women, almost one in three women globally has experienced some form of domestic violence, and fewer than forty percent of DV victims report the abuse. Even more chilling is the number of domestic violence homicides as it is estimated that around one hundred thirty-seven women are killed every day (UN Women, “Facts and figures: Ending violence against women”). As portrayed in the 1988 Egyptian movie “Zwget ragol mohem” (Wife of an Important Man), domestic abuse is a serious disease which needs to be tackled throughout various aspects including the complex question of why most victims stay, the impact of the abuse on the victims, and the consequences of the COVID-19 pandemic. Another point is the debate around the media’s normalization of domestic abuse; however, the media’s role in raising awareness about the issue and its efforts in ending the violence cannot be invalidated.

Why do the women stay with their abusers? This is a controversial question that is commonly asked by the society when discussing a domestic abuse case. Those who have never experienced domestic violence or are not properly educated on the matter tend to undermine the intolerable burden victims have to endure every day. The question also implies that the woman is to blame for her suffering since she is the one who chooses to stay with her abuser when in reality escaping is not an option to many victims. The answer to this question is a complex one, as there are numerous reasons why women do not leave their abusive relationships. One of the more common reasons is the misogynistic cultural beliefs, especially in the Middle East, of the man as the dominant figure of the family and the woman as his silent submissive. Women who are confined by these standards are often economically dependent on their husbands. Therefore, they will not be capable of sustaining for themselves if they succeeded in leaving. There is also the idea of the woman’s role of keeping the traditional household structure intact. Consequently, if she attempted to break this structure by leaving, she will be heavily scorned by her community. Moreover, some women choose to keep their silence because of their fear and shame of “being identified as battered women” (Kaur and Garg, “Addressing Domestic Violence Against Women: An Unfinished Agenda”). In addition, most mothers disregard their well-being by believing that two parents are better than one in raising the children even if they were surrounded by abuse.

If a victim was able to overcome all these obstacles, there is a huge chance she will have to face legal complications. According to National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), law enforcement might disregard the violence as a basic domestic dispute case. Additionally, filing for divorce is a difficult, costly, and lengthy process, and there is the risk of the woman losing custody over her kids. Another reason that is often overlooked is the extreme danger the victim is exposed to after leaving her abuser which can end up in murder. According to statistics prepared by Anne L. Ganley for the Family Violence Prevention Fund, about 75% of the victims of domestic violence homicides were killed as they attempted to leave or actually left their abusive partners.

Denial of the abuse can greatly influence the victim’s decision in staying with her abuser. Leslie Morgan Steiner, an author and domestic violence survivor, admits that she would have never imagined she would be the type of woman who would stay in an abusive relationship. Steiner uses herself as an example to correct the misconceptions people tend to have about women who stay with their abusers. Several women are so blinded by the love they have for their partners that they are inclined to unintentionally misinterpret the abuse as a mere argument that any other couple experiences every now and then. This was Steiner’s case. She recounts that she was madly in love with her abuser even when he pointed the gun at her head multiple times. Despite her high education and independency, she was unaware that she was being abused. In fact, she thought of herself as the only savior for her husband which is sadly what many victims still believe and is hindering them from taking any action against the abuse.

Understanding the intense impact of the abuse on the victims is crucial in grasping the fact that domestic abuse is a serious offence that should never be tolerated. In fact, “many abused women find it difficult to function in their daily lives because of the effects of domestic violence” (Gluck, “Effects of Domestic Violence”). As stated by the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence (ACESDV), exposure to domestic violence has crippling effects on the victim that range from physical, emotional, and psychological. These effects must be addressed or else they can worsen and reach an alarming stage. In addition, the effects vary from person to person depending on the victim’s response to the violence and the severity level of the abuse. Physical effects can be body trauma, deformities, chronic fatigue, involuntary shaking, or even self-inflected injuries which some victims resort to as a way of gaining some form of control over their bodies. Psychological effects can take the shape of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), depression, dissociation, emotional withdrawal, or most often denial. The consequences of the abuse on the victims can be as critical as altering aspects of their personalities or “sometimes, it may seem as if the violence defines their identity” (ACESDV, “Impact on Survivors”). This point is well demonstrated in the deterioration of the character of Mona in the 1988 Egyptian movie “Zawget Ragol Mohem” (Wife of an Important Man).

“Zawget Ragol Mohem” (Wife of an Important Man) portrays the stages of a typical domestic abusive relationship that starts with the manipulation of the victim even before marriage. Furthermore, it succeeds in displaying the impact of domestic abuse on the victim through the stirring representation of Mona’s psychological decline. The movie starts with showing us the simplicity and purity of Mona’s character. She is a college student, she is a romantic who loves the movies and music of Abdel Halim Hafez, and she lives a stable life with her loving parents. Hesham, the male protagonist, took extreme measures to manipulate and convince Mona to marry him, and it was Mona’s naivety that led her into an abusive relationship unknowingly. It is widely agreed upon that the first stage of domestic abuse in many cases is the isolation of the victim. Hesham started the process of isolating Mona by moving her away from her family. Not only that but he also tried to isolate her from her neighbors so that her whole existence and identity can only revolve around him. Eventually, Mona’s exposure to domestic violence caused her character to shift from a simple, bright, and fulfilled young woman to a miserable, confined, and helpless wife who is unable to take control over her own life.

While people all over the world were struggling to live amidst the COVID-19 pandemic, most women had another pandemic to deal with. The pandemic from the very beginning has been a source of worldwide panic over health, income, and unemployment. However, the fear of domestic violence victims being in lockdown with their abusers was overlooked as they have become increasingly vulnerable and isolated. As a result of the isolation and the increased stress caused by the pandemic, domestic violence appeared for the first time in many households; in addition, it intensified already existing DV cases (Van Gelder et al. “Covid-19: Reducing the Risk of Infection Might Increase the Risk of Intimate Partner Violence”). Even before the pandemic, domestic violence cases have been on the rise, but the numbers have skyrocketed due to the stay-at-home orders. According to the UN, calls to helplines reached five times their usual level in some countries (“Facts and Figures: Ending Violence against Women”). This is why UN Women launched a public awareness campaign labeled as “The Shadow Pandemic” to bring the people’s attention to the magnitude of the issue and how they “need a global collective effort to stop it” (“The Shadow Pandemic: Violence against women during COVID-19”). As quoted by Mirna Abdulaal in her article Egypt’s Hidden Pandemic: Domestic Violence on The Rise During COVID-19, “the fundamental goal should be to ensure that victims are heard and are not overlooked.”

Media representation of domestic violence against women is a double-edged sword. It can play a vital role in either fighting the issue or causing more harm to the victims. Unfortunately, media has the power to irresponsibly shape peoples’ perception of domestic violence and its victims through a lighthearted representation. The academic article Contribution of Media to the Normalization and Perpetuation of Domestic Violence discusses the normalization of domestic violence through the media and how it “facilitates the acceptance of domestic violence in mainstream society” (Kohlman, et el.). Humor and sexist language are often used in media to make light of domestic violence. Consequently, the public perceives domestic violence as an ordinary occurrence that is widely accepted since it is met with laughter by the woman on screen (Kohlman, et el. “Contribution of Media”). This is evident in lots of the movies, tv shows, advertisements, and games that people are exposed to. Additionally, some people look at domestic abuse as a justifiable action since it disciplines the women or is a way of showing them love as some men claim; which is something that is often portrayed in romantic movies. This mindset is mostly the contribution of the media and its representation of domestic violence.

Another point is the way news reports and broadcasts handle actual cases of domestic violence which greatly affect the public’s view of the victims. The wording of the headlines and articles tend to distort the real story and often excuse the perpetrator for his abusive actions. As stated by Amanda Meade in her article Media often distort domestic violence, study finds, “many reports also shifted blame from the male perpetrators to their female victims and often relied on police comments for context.” This has crucial consequences on the victim since she is scorned by her community who “may believe that the victim “deserved it”” (qtd. In Kohlman, et el. “Contribution of Media”).

Not all media representation is bad. Media coverage of domestic violence against women can do wonders in informing and educating the public if it was presented in a realistic and a sensitive way. It can challenge the negative perceptions people tend to have about DV victims, and it can encourage victims to come forward and ask for help. Moreover, some victims might even speak about their experiences and their survival stories to help fellow victims. Through media coverage, abusers might see their actions reflected on screen “through a more detached, third-person perspective” and are shown the impact of that abuse on the victims which would make them realize that they have been abusive towards their partners (Beddows, “Representation Matters”). As reported by Susie Beever in the Yorkshire Post, a charity has revealed that “increased media coverage of domestic violence during lockdown led to surge in calls from abusers seeking help to stop.”

If done right, media can be a powerful tool in raising public awareness and defying domestic violence altogether. Truth is many believe and argue that it is the media’s responsibility to bring about change in today’s world. According to District Alliance for Safe Housing (DASH), campaigners and advocates against domestic violence are taking advantage of the new media and “are creating innovative, compelling media that leverage current headlines and memes to further the domestic violence conversation in meaningful ways.” Furthermore, several agencies use celebrities and public figures to become spokespersons or representatives for their awareness campaigns to reach a bigger audience. For instance, UN Women released a public service announcement narrated by the Oscar-winning actor Kate Winslet to raise the public’s awareness of the Shadow Pandemic (UN Women, “Press Release”).

Ultimately, home should never be anything but a safe place. No one should ever feel fear in their home. Domestic violence will not end until victims can someday let their guard down and live soundly in the comfort of their homes without anticipating any form of attack from their loved ones. Domestic abuse should be treated like any other disease that must be cured for the well-being of the general public. Combatting domestic violence is not a simple battle; it is a global crisis that requires everyone’s participation starting from the victims themselves to the judicial system. Equivalently, more attention needs to be given to the media’s representation of the issue. If the power of the media is granted to the right people, it could defy domestic violence altogether and make the world a safer place for everyone.

All in all, domestic abuse is unacceptable and unjustifiable, and the fight must not stop until home becomes a secure place for the victims once and for all.

REFRENCES

https://egyptianstreets.com/2020/05/01/egypts-hidden-pandemic-domestic-violence-on-the-rise-during-covid-19/

https://www.rasasc.org.uk/representation-matters-women-and-violence-on-screen/

https://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/crime/increased-media-coverage-dom estic-violence-during-lockdown-led-surge-calls-abusers-seeking-help-stop-says-charity-2965924 https://www.dashdc.org/six-powerful-domestic-violence-viral-ads/

https://www.unwomen.org/en/what-we-do/ending-violence-against-women/facts-and-figures.

https://domesticabuseshelter.org/domestic-violence/

https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/domestic-violence/effects-of-domestic-violence-domestic-abuse-on-women-and-children

https://www.acesdv.org/domestic-violence-graphics/impact-on-survivors/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2784629/

https://austinpublishinggroup.com/psychiatry-behavioral-sciences/fulltext/ajpbs-v1-id1018.php

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/nov/25/media-often-sensationalise-domestic-violence-reporting-study-finds

https://www.unwomen.org/en/news/stories/2020/5/press-release-the-shadow-pandemic-of-violence-against-women-during-covid-19